Finally! I have seen a roller derby bout! Until yesterday, I had only seen bouts on "Rollergirls" (which I really miss).

Now, more than ever, I am dying to play. Dying. I have this amazing determination to become an asset to the Carolina Rollergirls. After not skating for 8 days, I am nearly about to lose my mind. I dreamed of skating last night in the warehouse at work! Ha!

The bout was magickal. I was so impressed with the bout production people. Everything seemed to run so smoothly from my rookie standpoint. I was blown away by how fast the Ranch was made bout-worthy. From the folks keeping the track lights burning & taped down to the amazing announcers to the refs & coaches to the stat folks (aka "calculators"...I was one!) to the door guards and the merch girls.....and the skaters. Pure performance! The costumes were incredible. I loved the opening number to explain the game. Hilarious! The game itself was awesome, but it really was hard to totally enjoy the game when I was trying like hell to help Hot D'Amazon with blocking stats for the Debs. It was so hard to focus on one person for very long. There were falls & spills into the audience, great whips & blocks, talented skating, and fierce determination on the faces of the players. I felt like I had ADD.

When it was over, it seemed to have gone too fast. The funny thing was that I was fucking exhausted. Me? What did I do but stand and make marks on a clip board??? Oh, well...I did help with the chairs & tape a bit too. It must have been an emotional release for me. I had had a major, hormonal spike at home while trying to find something to wear. The outfit that I had planned to wear---but hadn't tried on----looked like crap when I put it on an hour before we had to leave. Panic! The funny thing is that once I got to the Ranch, I realized that every damn discarded outfit that I constructed before I left the house would have been fine. I guess that it's hard when you're a rookie to know *what* you should do *when* and *how* you should do it. I don't want to look out of place or act like an idiot, you know? It feels kind of like gym class in junior high sometimes. I don't mean that in a bad way; I'm never that uncomfortable but there is a little nagging buzz in the back of my mind. It lessens all the time though.

I have a few goals for myself as a skater:

I want to be as mean as Bruz.

I want to do my squats as low as Princess.

I want to block as frequent and as sucessfully as Kama.

I want to be as kind to rookies that come after me as Eris.

I want to skate as well and as fearlessly as Roxy does.



I love the women that I skate with. I have learned something from all of them in some way or another.

Derby. How did I ever live without it?