For the past few months, I've been having a hard time dragging my butt to practice as I'm sure is obvious from my attendance. I tried to keep telling myself that it would all be different when I could scrimmage and when I got assigned to a team. However, I finally had to realize that I just wasn't having fun anymore, and why should I force myself to keep doing something that I don't enjoy? Then again, I argued with myself that I was so close to passing level 1 so I shouldn't give up. However, not doing anything and quitting are the same thing. I haven't been to practice since the Oct 14th assessment, and it's just time to throw in the towel.
I wasn't planning on quitting. Ever. It just sort of happened. Andrew & I have season tickets for the Hurricanes and that takes up a lot of evenings. Then, my ferret Eomer got sick in October, and we couldn't leave him for long for about 3 weeks...and we didn't want to either. Plus, I really love getting off work and just going home, and I've really missed doing so all these months. In general, I'm just not wanting to invest the time in derby anymore. I feel like I never see my husband or my parents or my friends enough. And, I have to be honest that it was terribly disappointing to not pass level one on Oct 14th. I just feel like it was a kick in the gut, and it knocked the wind out of me. My motivation just fizzled away.
I'm really disappointed and sad to make this decision to quit. I really wanted to make it as a derby girl, but I just don't have the will to go on anymore. Maybe I'll change my mind and come back and try out later, but I'm just not making any promises to myself.
I thank CRG for the fantastic opportunity to train with them all year. I have an immense amount of respect for everyone that bleeds for CRG. What this league has
accomplished is nothing short of amazing. I'm proud to have been a CRG and I'm proud that Raleigh has such a cool roller derby team.
Take care, y'all. I'll be seeing you later.