Well, it's official. I have definitely gained all of my pre-wedding weight back. Yee-ha. It's been a slow, creeping process, but I'm right back where I was 2 years ago.

I went to the doctor last Friday to bleed for lab work. While there, my blood pressure was unusually high. Great. It's probably the Effexor, I thought, and I sure haven't watched my pressure over the last few months like I should have been. My psychiatrist (Dr Chambers) told me when he put me on it 2 years ago, that it could raise your pressure. Well, it did a little after time, but not in the dangerous range. Without insurance from Jan 1-Mar 1, I couldn't exactly go to the doctor. Early last week, I went crazy and scheduled my yearly physical, a mental checkup, & a gyno annual.

I saw Dr Chambers last Tuesday, and he was equally alarmed with my hbp. Coupled with the fact that Effexor affects my sex drive, the hbp was the last straw. Starting Wed, I've started tapering off.

Last night at Mom & Dad's, Dad used his nifty machine to take my pressure, and the readings were the worst that I've seen. 170ish/122ish!!!! Holy shit!

Now, today, I went for my physical with Dr Singh, my regular doc, and she told me the results of last week's lab work. Again, my blood pressure was high, but not as bad as last night. 160ish/92. My thyroid is sleeping a little again so she upped the thyroid med to wake him up to do his damn job. Then, she told me that my glucose was 103 which is borderline diabetic. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great! I'm overweight. I have high blood pressure, and I'm pre-diabetic. Following in my dad's footsteps, or what? This is so not cool.

Thanks, Body. Im awake now. Im listening.

I told Dr Singh that I think several things are causing my weight gain lately:

1) I became a vegetarian at the first of the year, and, unfortunately, I run into situations where my choices aren't the healthiest. Example: at the 'Canes game, my choices were fries, cheese sticks, or a pretzel. Not much for dinner options.

2) I'm skating my butt off, burning a hell of a lot of calories, and I come home starving. In such a state, I'm liable to eat anything not nailed down.

In addition to the above recent struggles, I've just totally lost my self control again when it comes to food. Unfortunately, in spite of making good food choices for most of the day, later, I often lose my mind and eat the equivalent of 2 bowls of ice cream or lots of chocolate. Basically, I cancel out the good.
I find this all really scary that suddenly I'm facing two big conditions that are definitely influenced by my weight. I *know* that I have to get myself together. I lost nearly 40 lbs on Weight Watchers 2 years ago, and I was very happy with my weight for my wedding last year. Well, I can't wear any of those cute clothes that I bought/wore last year.

Eating well means planning ahead. Keeping healthy groceries at home, making good choices at restaurants, and exercising portion control.

I know how to lose weight. I know that I can do it. I've done it before! The hunger monster is eating at me this evening, but, if I ignore him, he will eventually lose his power over me.....and this will get easier.